Top 10 fictional characters you would have over for dinner
10. Gossip Girl (Gossip Girl, duh) — Let’s be real: she would have all the dirt. Nothing’s worse than having somebody over for dinner and they’ve got nothing interesting to say; but dinner with Gossip Girl would be a breath of fresh, snarky, dishy air, and, honestly, I want to know about everybody’s dirty laundry anyway. Xoxo.
9. A (Pretty Little Liars) — Same principle applies here, and, honestly? Tell me I’m not the only one who wants to see a Gossip Girl vs. A cage match. Both of them know everybody’s business, and both of them are up to no good. A strikes me as more vengeful, though. Is that a strength or a liability? WHO KNOWS! BRING ON THE THUNDERDOME!
8. Blue Sargent (The Raven Cycle) — Gossip Girl and A both know way more than they ought to. I mean, how is A everywhere all at once?? How does Gossip Girl always know what Serena is doing at all times? Clearly they are psychic, and as a psychic amplifier, Blue Sargent would make their cage match something to behold. I’m picturing a telekinetic battle to the death, like at the end of Friday the 13th Part VII. (Also, Blue has a pretty good sense of humor, and I want to hear what she has to say about said cage match.)
7. Kinsey Millhone (A is for Alibi, etc.) — Sue Grafton is one of my favorite authors, and her ongoing private detective series, featuring the wily and sarcastic investigator Kinsey Millhone, has been a HUGE influence on me as a writer. Kinsey always has a trick up her sleeve, and if anyone is going to figure out the end game before Gossip Girl and/or A can put it into effect, it’s Kinsey.
6. V.I. Warshawski (Indemnity Only, etc.) — I’m ashamed to admit that I only discovered Sara Paretsky’s hard-boiled, feminist detective, Victoria “Vic” Warshawski, a few years back, but now I’m hooked. A tough, short-tempered, no-nonsense Chicago investigator, Vic kicks ass and takes names, regularly going toe-to-toe with villains and misogynists alike. Fearless, irascible, and willing to Go There at the drop of a hat, Vic dismantles the patriarchy one mystery at a time.
5. Noah Sweetwine (I’ll Give You The Sun) — Noah’s Technicolor, magical thinking is what makes Jandy Nelson’s sublime novel one of my Desert Island picks. He’s a defiantly weird, sensitive artist, grappling with his emerging feelings for another boy, and he sees the world just a little bit differently than everyone else. I can relate to him, is what I’m trying to say, and I’d love to have him paint a tableau featuring the bizarre guest list I’m putting together here.
4. Inej Ghafa (Six of Crows, Crooked Kingdom) — This should require very little explanation. Kaz Brekker has a fantastic, motley crew of misfits backing him up, but of them all, Inej is the most intriguing—and the least under his control. Sharp, crafty, and independent, the Suli acrobat is exactly who I want in my corner if Gossip Girl and A turn on me. (Which would be really bad form, since I’m the host.)
3. Nick & Nora Charles (The Thin Man) — As a big fan of pulp mysteries from the thirties, forties, and beyond, Dashiell Hammett’s urbane, silver-tongued detective couple always fascinated me. They banter, they bicker, and they bust murderers single-handed (the other hand is always holding an ice-cold martini), so if you’re looking for sparkling dinner conversation, look no further. In the series of films starring William Powell and Myrna Loy (still worth watching today!) they even have an adorable little terrier. God loves a terrier!
2. Minoo Falk-Karimi (The Engelsfors Trilogy) — The supernatural Engelsfors series by Mats Strandberg and Sara Bergmark Elfgren had me chewing my fingernails to the quick. A group of mismatched teenagers in a declining Swedish mining town discover overnight that not only are they the most powerful witches the world has ever known, but the apocalypse draws nigh unless they can work together to thwart it. Minoo was the group’s clearest thinker and (effectively) its de facto leader, and I still get chills when I think about the role she played in the heart-pounding climax of Book Three. I want her at this party in case things go seriously wrong. (And also because I could practice my Swedish! Jag älskar Svenska, men jag talar det inte så bra.)
1. Flavia DeLuce (The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie) — Precocious, clever, and scientific to a fault, the brilliant Flavia would probably be the smartest person at the table. She could also no doubt distill a deadly toxin from things she found in Nora Charles’s handbag (and make a weapon that would violate the Geneva Convention out of Noah’s paint supplies,) and when all the other guests end up killing each other, she can probably also help me figure out how to cover it all up. And that’s what I really want in a dinner companion.
ABOUT LAST SEEN LEAVING:Flynn's girlfriend has disappeared. How can he uncover her secrets without revealing his own?
Flynn's girlfriend, January, is missing. The cops are asking questions he can't answer, and her friends are telling stories that don't add up. All eyes are on Flynn—as January's boyfriend, he must know something.
But Flynn has a secret of his own. And as he struggles to uncover the truth about January's disappearance, he must also face the truth about himself.
ABOUT CALEB ROEHRIG:
Caleb Roehrig is a writer and television producer originally from Ann Arbor, Michigan. Having also lived in Chicago, Los Angeles, and Helsinki, Finland, he has a chronic case of wanderlust, and can recommend the best sights to see on a shoestring budget in over thirty countries. A former actor, Roehrig has experience on both sides of the camera, with a résumé that includes appearances on film and TV—as well as seven years in the stranger-than-fiction salt mines of reality television. In the name of earning a paycheck, he has: hung around a frozen cornfield in his underwear, partied with an actual rock-star, chatted with a scandal-plagued politician, and been menaced by a disgruntled ostrich.
Tour Schedule:Week 1:
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